The Bloke in the Background of Abbey Road

During a microsoft paint reproduction of Abbey Road, I noticed a man standing and watching in the background. His name was Paul Cole, and he has the look of someone about to go home to tell his wife this fantastic news, only to find that she is cheating on him. I’m not sure I recreated that face entirely but I got the jist in his glasses. Story one out of 52 is a tribute to this man, who died earlier this year. The story is called ‘Small Things are Always Evened Out’. 

Actually, I’ve just noticed that I didn’t include his glasses at all.

Unparalled success of album cover painting

I left Mexico with the ‘Let’s redo Classic Album covers with Microsoft Paint’ a mere baby. On my return I found it had exploded (in a good way)! 338 people have got on board and 170 album covers have been redone! Some are brilliant! Others are awful. Regrettably, a fair number are racist. When it gets to 300 Diarmuid and I have a little idea which will bring the community and the local press together. If you want to be invited then please draw an album cover.

From the 1st september I start the one short story a week for a year. I basically have to write one short story a week for a year or I don’t eat. I’ll put them all up here.

Let’s redo classic album covers using microsoft paint

Recently Diarmuid White and I have been recreating classic album covers using microsoft paint. I find it therapeutic and funny and Diarmuid finds it helps give him meaning to these classic albums. When you recreate classic albums using microsoft paint it really helps you get into the mindset of the artists. If you enjoyed these prints please don’t hesitate to join the facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24955166436&ref=mf

By way of a ‘Teaser’ here are some classic album covers redone

Legend: The Best of Bob Marley and the Wailers

 

Bad by Michael Jackson

Some certificate

I got a certificate in the post the other day which said that ‘Hexagone’ was shortlisted for the Franco British Short Story Prize. It meant they liked the idea of a man on a date with a cardboard cut out girl from his old GCSE French text book, but it wasn’t really what they were looking for to help promote French learning in primary schools. I think what they were trying to say was ‘9 year olds won’t really ”Get This”, but thanks for the effort. Here’s a certificate.’

Thanks, Franco-British Council.

Me and Stuart Margolin

I had to write something about Stuart Margolin, who played Jim Rockford’s scheming friend in The Rockford Files. The story is a true one about a mad fat bloke who sat next to me on the metro in Paris and told me a story about the picture of the rabbit who traps his hand in the door that’s on every door window on every train in the Paris underground. I don’t know why this fat bloke told me it but he got spit on my ear doing it, that’s how close his lips were to my ear.  I felt I had to pass this story on so I’ve done so to the fictionalised recreation of Stuart Margolin in this story I just wrote, entitled Me and Stuart Margolin.

Wufniks Magazine and New Story

I just had two stories published in Wufniks Magazine. Wufniks is on sale at the Cornerhouse and online. It is very good and has contributions from Irvine Welsh and Zadie Smith. Go to its website – http://www.wufniks.com

I finished a story today which is the second I have written this year to include the acronym OFSTED. I think I like the acronym. Also it’s in capitals so it sort of leaps up at you. I feel pretty distanced from the story. The story is called

Note found in Alice Ryner’s Locker during the end of term clear-out

It’s not good and it’s not bad. It is the most accurate depiction I can make of a love letter sent from a GCSE Examiner to a girl who took a GCSE exam. I wrote it with a Staedtler Stick 430 F. I consider the Staedtler Stick 430 F to be king of pens. I was writing with it a while back and a woman came up to me and said ‘Is that a staedtler? They’re good writers, they are.’ She was right. They are.

Stories stories stories

Wow! That’s pretty fast!

Hello. Yes. I finally got around to doing this. On this site are some of the strangest and most incredible works of fiction you will ever see in the next ten minutes if you stay on this site.

It’s all here, some of it published elsewhere, some of it completely untapped. Most of it untapped.

Do you want to hear about a man on a date with a card board cut out of a girl from a GCSE French text book? Take a peek at Hexagone. Need advice about self loathing affairs with house spiders? Tagmata’s your lady. Forgotten what the hell Benazir Bhutto used to do? She ran a fish and chip shop, it’s all in The Moderation.

Click on the links on the other side of the page or scroll down. You have that choice.

Look, read, comment, leave, in any order you like.